The Shit I Have To Put Up With

I've been on deathwatch for about five months now. And it can't come soon enough. I mean, it's not as if she's a bad person or anything. It's just that she annoys the living shit out of me.
I live in the bottom unit of a beat-up old duplex. It used to be nice about a million years ago, but my absentee landlord isn't real good in the way of keeping up repairs or fixing stuff I complain about. But I can live with leaky faucets, sporadic hot&cold water and crappy furnace.
It's that wheezing bitch upstairs that really drives me out of my gourd.
She must sit right next to the laundry chute, because her raspy breathing just radiates straight down into my apartment. I've tried stuffing pillows in the chute, shutting doors and shoving towels in the gaps, even wearing earplugs to bed at night. Nothing works. It's probably not even all that loud but once you hear it even a little bit, you can't get it out of your freaking head. It's like the ticking of an old clock - you never even notice it 95% of the time but once you do, it pounds in your skull until you're ready to bash it with a baseball bat.
"Huuuuhhhhhh.......huuuhhhhhh......coughcough........huuuuuuuhhnnnnnn".
She has to be pushing 80 years old and was fine when she moved in. She had been pretty active, playing cards and going for walks with the lady up the street every couple days. But her health has definitely taken a turn for the worse over the last few months. Hell, I can't remember the last time she left her place. She just plods up and down her steps every day at 6AM to get her paper and then again at 6PM to get her mail. I know the exact time because it wakes me up with her clunk...wheeeeeeze.....wheeeze.....clunk......huuuuufffffff.....gaaaaaasp...clunk as she walks down the steps. I don't know if she wears tap shoes around her house or what, but it's loud as shit.
At first I was cool about it. She's an old lady living by herself after all, so I cut her some slack. But after about a couple months of putting up with it and losing sleep, I totally went off on her. I grabbed a hockey stick and started banging it against the ceiling "JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY SO I CAN GO TO SLEEP!!".
Even that didn't work. Somebody seriously needs to put a pillow over granny's face at night so we all can rest easier. Don't think that thought didn't cross my mind a time or two. I'd be doing everyone a favor and it would only be bumping up her appointment with death by a few months. I can't freaking believe she's hung on this long. What the hell does she have to live for anyhow?
I'd totally move and find another place but I'm trying to work through some minor money problems. That and I just renewed my lease right before Mizz Daisy upstairs started pulling her asthma shit. So I'm pretty much screwed.
I did have one other idea I might try - I thought about waiting until it got real quite up there then crank my stereo up full blast all of a sudden. Or maybe light some M-80's off right outside her door - anything to put some serious stress on that old ticker of hers. The only downside would be hoping someone would discover her body before she started to stink. I don't know what would be worse - listening to her breathe like an octogenarian phone sex operator or smelling her rotting corpse through the heating vents.
But If I lose any more sleep because of her wheezing, I might be willing to live with the stench.