So I go to the same diner a few times a week. It opens at 6AM so I can stop in on the way to the office. Sometimes I have breakfast, sometimes I'll just pick up something for lunch later and sometimes I'll just have a couple of cups of coffee. There's a regular crowd that time of the morning but they're good at leaving you alone if that's what you want.
Anyway, there's this bus boy that's been working there for a while. I'm not sure what his problem is (cleft palate maybe) but he talks really funny and he scampers everywhere he goes. Annoys the hell out of me. I used to keep dropping my silverware on the floor just to watch him scurry back and forth.
So I get in there this morning and what happens? Little retarded busboy comes over to take my breakfast order! I couldn't believe it. He wasn't that great of a busboy so why the hell should he be promoted to waiter? I don't care how busy they are, I shouldn't have to listen to him try to lisp out the daily specials - "shaushage and home fwies".
But I was starving to death so I decided to just deal with it. I gave him my order but told him to make sure to wash his hands before he brings it back - I sure as hell didn't want to catch whatever he had. That got a laugh from the next table over. You could tell that they didn't want the bucket head bringing their food either.
So I watch him scamper to the kitchen, scamper to another table, scamper here, scamper there. Finally I just get sick of it. He comes out of the kitchen carrying this big ass tray of food to one of the tables in the back, heading right towards me not even paying any attention to where he's going. All it took was me barely sliding my foot out from under the table and WOOSH - the hairlip busboy flops onto the floor sending eggs & syrup everywhere. You should have seen it, absolutely hilarious.
So he's laying belly-down on the tile floor and looks up to see the whole place just laughing their asses off - he actually had a pancake on his head and powdered sugar all over his face - absolutely freakin' priceless. He gets up as fast as he could trying to clean up the mess he made - "I'm shorry, I'm shorry, I'm shorry".
Hopefully he'll be back bussing tables tomorrow morning.
