Tuesday at The Corner Bar & Grille

i should have known better i had no business being there but she laughed when i hesitated "as if you could still charm my pants off" "you know we're not 18 anymore" she said she could only meet at lunch she worked evenings at Ballys spinning class til 5, pilates at 7 she'd be at the Corner after her shower just to talk & hear about the Alison i was cautiously cautious at first we had a past and she had a present married a decade, 3 kids of her own one played the piano, 2 danced ballet she lulled me into apprehensive optimism the conversation flowed then ebbed she paused then asked if i was happy "youve known me since i was 16" "you ever know me to be happy?" i noticed her eyes were as weary as my own right then i hoped we could be friends and she told me she decided to be happy right after her dad died last year it got closer to 7 and she had to go sometimes her husband brought her lunch i stepped up to hug her goodbye as we stood shivering outside the bar i swear to God i wanted to be friends but the our lips somehow met our bodies somehow embraced "lets go sit a minute in my car" she said as she took me by my hand i should have known better i had no business being there but it was cold & maybe i could make her happy she drove a few blocks away, quiet she was going to be late anyhow her tiny hands in mine, it began slowly at first, then with a hunger then with a longing, i began to drown she unbuttoned my shirt, 6 buttons down then my belt as she unzipped her pants i looked around to make sure we were alone both of us half-naked under the streetlight the windows fogged, streaked by fingerprints i saw the truth as she crawled in the backseat leopard-print bra and laced black thong no way she'd wear that just for work it should have been boy-shorts & jogging bra she knew we'd be here when she woke this morning i should have seen this coming i should have known better theres no way i should be here right now but i still crawled back to be with her next to the child safety seat and bookbag we couldnt be friends after this we would be something else entirely stolen glances as we past in the street she'd be someone to give me what she wanted me not man enough to give her what she needs